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Serves you right, pothead.” Encouraging words from my bitch of a sister. I spent the next day moping around the house. I constantly checked my phone to see if Lauren messaged me, but she never did. My heart nearly stopped when I heard my phone go off. I received a text from Gretchen, who was Lauren’s cheerleading friend. Gretchen despised me. She would take every opportunity to talk down to me. Her message read, “Meet me at 1903 Main Street, 7pm. Don’t be late.” “Odd,” I wondered what she could want with me. Maybe Lauren had something to do with this. Maybe, if I was the luckiest guy in the world, this is some elaborate way to take me back. I should have known better. The next day was spent in agonizing anticipation. What did Gretchen want? The question rang in my head like a broken record. Finally it was time to go. As I drove towards the meeting spot, my heart raced. Anxiety took over, each breath felt more constricted the closer I got. I parked and went in. I hadn’t realized the. ." ...Wait," she stopped me. "Miles thinks its a back massager!"We laughed aloud, and I almost spilled my wine, which made us laugh harder. After a tiny moment of hesitation, during which Kate gave me a funny, evaluative look, she moved to her own bedside table, opened it up, and took out her own back massager, which started us giggling again.The thing was enormous! The size and shape of a baseball bat, if half the length. The thing plugged into the wall! No batteries here! When I was able to talk again, I marveled at it's size. "Well," she explained. "If it's too small, Dave will think it's actually a vibrator!"And this started us going again. While she laughed, Kate leaned over and plugged the thing into the wall, and turned it on. The sound it made! It sounded like a chainsaw had started up in the room. Unable to hold my wine and continue laughing, I carefully set it down on the desk by the TV, and fell onto the bed, clutching my stomach and curling up into a fetal position. She.
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